Music

Dancing with a monster


Ansley was leaving him. The thought alone was a boulder that grew heavier with every passing moment. The worse part was he deserved it. She had every right to walk away from him. She had every right to say that he wasn't worth fighting for, because goddess knew he wasn't. He was too broken, too damaged, too much of a fucking failure. He always failed them. Those he cared the most apart. His sister. His wife. His queen. His light. He was incapable of not breaking everything he touched. She was lucky. She managed to walk away from his poison. Sure, she had a broken heart but that was better than the alternative wasn't it?


He had known that she was going to be angry about the babies. He had expected her to yell, scream and tell him that he didn't keep his words. It would have been the truth. He was surprised by how calm she was--eerily so. Then she told him that she was leaving him. He felt as if the entire world was crumbling beneath his feet and he was powerless to escape its pull. He tried to get her to stay. Tried to tell her that it was within his very nature to wander. It failed, of course, she was determined to take this course of action. Oh, he could have forced her to stay. Goddess know that he had done such a thing in the past. Yet, he didn't. Why? Was it because he knew that losing her was his fault and he was ready to accept whatever punishment that came with it? Was it because he had grown as a person since they had first met? He doubted that one. It was more likely the former. 


"Milord?" A servant's voice drew his attention away from his swirling thoughts. He blinked confused for a moment before remembering that he had left Ansley before she had a chance to respond to his words. He knew what she was going to say to them. There was no need to add more salt to the wound. Beside, nothing he said or did would make a difference. She was leaving him. That was that. He had to learn how to live without her. It would be easier if he didn't have to feel like this. He rather feel numb and empty than...than...whatever the fuck this was. "Milord Giese?" The servant said again--uncertain.


She had taken a step towards him. She was a pretty enough. Petite with long blonde hair that held a slight wave and deep brown eyes. Kyrell allowed his eyes to move over the figure of the female in a slow and deliberate manner that the servant couldn't help noticing. She took a step back, straighten herself out and pushed her chest out in order to draw attention to her breasts. He debated dismissing her and returning to his swirling thoughts, but maybe if he buried himself between her legs he might forget his pain for a moment. It was for that reason that he pushed himself from the chair, walked over to her, grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hallway.


"Where are we going, Milord?" She giggled. She knew exactly where they were heading, but had asked nonetheless. 


"I'm going to fuck you." Kyrell said after a pause that lasted long enough to make the servant concerned. He saw her glance around in a nervous way, clearly debating if she could somehow manage to pull away from him. Relief washed across her face upon the sound of his voice, and that giggle returned after he kicked open a door to someone's chambers---he didn't care whose--and told her "Take your clothes off."


The woman didn't hesitate to obey his command. She stripped out of her dress. Slowly, at first, as if she was trying to tease him, but upon seeing the impatient look upon his face she quickly sped things up. "How would you like to take me, Milord?" She asked, walking to the bed with a bounce within her steps. She wrapped her hands around the bed post, pushing herself against it for a few moments before climbing upon the bed and laying down "Like this?"


Sometime during the show, his own clothing came off and he moved towards her like a predator stalking its prey once she had laid down upon the bed. Her eyes watched him. She was drawn in by his very presence--even if she wanted to take her eyes off of him, she couldn't. "Just like that." He told her.


He entered her before sliding his hands around her throat "What are..." Her words were cut off by a gasp as he begun to thrust inside of her. That gasp turned into moans and than screams that were unable to decided if they wanted to be of pleasure or pain as he pounded inside of her. It was like he was trying to break her in half. The girl might even had felt like she was. She dug her nails into his back until he squeezed his hands tight around her throat, cutting her air off.  She was okay with it at first, but her acceptance of the entire thing quickly turned to fear when she realized that he wasn't going to let up. She begun to panic. She punched and pushed against him to no avail--his grip kept tightening around her throat. The air she so desperately wanted to bring into her lungs wouldn't come, and than she stopped fighting. Her hands dropped to her side. Her eyes gazed over just as Kyrell released his seed inside of her. 


"Do you know what Ansley said to me?" He asked, sliding out of the dead servant. He either didn't notice that she was dead or he didn't care. "She said I use it to fill a hole." 


He slide off the bed and begun to pace around the room "Use what?" He asked, glancing at the dead body. "What the fuck do I use to fill a hole? No. I know." He said these words with a sigh. He didn't stop pacing. "Sex. She's talking about sex. Sex and violence." 


He brushed his fingers through his hair. Silent for a few moments. "She's right, you know. I.." He shook his head, pushing aside whatever thought he was going to say. "It's the only thing I am good at. I'm nothing without it. Who the fuck am I kidding? I'm nothing with it. I'm just a big fat fucking waste of space. Everyone realizes this. It's why they leave me. It's why my parents hated me. I knew she was going to leave me. Did you know that?" 


He had stopped pacing and was now standing in the middle of the room, crying like he was some kinda pathetic fool. Which was ironic because he was. "Everyone always leaves me. I fail them and they leave. So, let's go back to what she said. Yes, she's right I do use it to fill a hole. I use it so I can pretend I have value just for a moment. It's a lie. I know this. But, it's a beautiful one. The more fucked up part is I think that those I love need me to either fuck or punch their problems away." 

He let out a bitter laugh at those words. "How fucking delusional am I? It would have been better if I had died in that woods when I was a child. Kieran wouldn't be the fucked up mess she is. I twisted my sister into the monster that our people fear---the witch of the wild, the eater of souls...if I had died that day I wouldn't have spread my poison to her or anyone else from that matter. That's what I am. A big fat walking poison that corrodes everything I touch."


He started pacing once again, and did so in silence for a few moments before stopping at the side of the bed. He looked down upon the dead body for a few moments then let out a frustrated growl. "You're no fucking help" He bellowed and kicked the mattress hard enough to cause it to slide slightly off the bed, and the dead servant to fly into the air like a rag doll before landing half on and half off the mattress with a loud thud. He stormed out of the room. He needed to find someone else to bury his sorrow within. Another servant will find and clean up this mess. 

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